Opinion: Now Is Not the Time For Driving a Ship Through Ursula the Sea Witch’s Chest as She Cackles About Ruling the Seven Seas, Now Is the Time For Unity

By Jetsam We were all shocked when Ursula the sea witch tricked King Triton into giving her his magic trident.

Measles, Polio Assure Sobbing COVID-19 That a Vaccine Doesn’t Mean Extinction

By Drew Thomas-Nathan WESTWOOD, CA — A vaccine for COVID-19 is finally here and just starting to be distributed. Sensing

By Drew Thomas-Nathan LOS FELIZ, CA — With another year in the can, some are already looking forward to the

By Drew Thomas-Nathan SILVER LAKE, CA — Following Warner Brothers Studios’ announcement that its entire 2021 slate of films would

By Drew Thomas-Nathan The Sack of Troy’s most brilliant and dedicated in-house sociologists have discovered that every human being’s sex

By Drew Thomas-Nathan LOS ANGELES, CA — The Los Angeles City Council unanimously voted Wednesday to create a pilot program

By Drew Thomas-Nathan WASHINGTON, DC — With the voters of the United States of America choosing to elect a president

CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE, NJ — Invincible serial killer and bad luck holiday enthusiast Jason Voorhees threw a fit last Sunday

By Drew Thomas-Nathan

By Drew Thomas-Nathan ISLA NUBLAR — Watch out Disney World! Fuck off Universal Studios! Eat shit Seaworld! There’s a new