By Emily Torp
LAS VEGAS, NV – George Glass, of Henderson, passed away following a tragic incident involving consuming raw donkey meat. Glass is survived by his girlfriend, Brittney Clarkson, who said he died doing what he loved.
“Every night he would say to me, ‘Please let me eat your donkey raw.’ Maybe he just said it to the wrong person and got a different kind of donkey than what he was expecting. I’m not surprised he ate it… or ate it out, because boy did he have an appetite. They say a man’s refractory period is longer than a woman’s, but not George’s, he could go round after round after… ” said Brittney.
Nevada Governor, Steve Sisolak, warns “The raw meat trade funneling into Nevada through Las Vegas is putting our youth at risk. Planned Parenthood is already overwhelmed with the 37% increase in teenage pregnancies since the ‘throw your condoms away and use a piece of 1800s lace instead’ TikTok trend started. And now another crisis and this innocent man’s death? Make it stop!”
Amber Jackson, Planned Parenthood area coordinator for the greater Vegas area, is prepared to make it stop. “This is a message for anyone under the age of 30. First of all, don’t be silly, protect your willie. And second, if someone offers you raw donkey, raw dog, or raw Saskatchewan reindeer, please deny the request and contact the authorities. This person may be part of either the illegal meat or the illegal human rear-end trade. Either way, they’re very dangerous.”
Amber’s second-in-command, Paul Seifer, wanted to leave everyone with a clear message. “Please, kids. Stop eating ass!”
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels