New Euphoria Episode Just Zendaya Telling You She’s Proud of You for an Hour Straight

By Alexandra Ornes

LOS ANGELES, CA – Euphoria fans were delighted to watch the newest episode of the HBO show, which was simply fifty-seven minutes of Zendaya staring straight at the camera, telling viewers she’s proud of them.

“I honestly cannot imagine a better episode.” Said Sarah Harker, an avid fan of the show. “It’s been a tough year, and this is what we needed to get 2021 started on the right foot. When I watched it for the first time I couldn’t stop crying. I’ve watched it twice a day, every day since then just to feel something. It’s gotten to the point that when I don’t watch it at least once I experience symptoms of withdrawal, like nausea, mood swings, and cloudy urine.”

“It really shows why she won the Emmy,” said Jasper Wohl, a Los Angeles Times critic. “She wasn’t even in character, but I felt her presence as herself and Rue on screen. It was a magical experience that I wish I could relive for the first time again and again. It’s filled a hole in my heart left from when my mother took my report card off the fridge in second grade, and replaced it 

with my younger brother Derek’s.” At this point, Wohl began tearing up. “I mean, Derek wasn’t even old enough to have a report card. She made one for him so she could replace mine.”

When asked what shooting the episode was like, Zendaya responded “Honestly it was a little weird. I was just speaking from my heart to the camera and the cameraman started crying so I asked them if they were ok, and they just said that they really needed to hear me say those words.” Fred Trainer, a crewmember on set, stated: “You know, I don’t normally cry. I’m a man’s man… but goddamn if I didn’t tear up for the whole 57 minutes straight. When I got home I went and cried some more, just because I’ve never felt that kind of warmth and appreciation from another human being.”

The episode has been nominated for numerous awards, including an Emmy for best direction, another best actress nomination for Zendaya, and a Nobel peace prize for its aid in ending the political unrest in the Middle East.