By Prerika Chawla
MACON, GA – Georgia peaches have finally stepped up to say enough is enough. As Georgia reopens schools amidst a pandemic, nominates a QAnon supporter for Congress, and continues to house centers of violence and anarcy known as Waffle Houses, only one shining pillar has held the crumbling reputation of The Peach State over the past two hundred years – its peaches.
Being the sole hope for a state brings immense pressure with few rewards. “Sure, when someone ponders the positives of this state or needs an idea for a license plate design, they immediately call on us,” shared a fuzzy white peach smoking a pipe. “But otherwise no one thinks much about us, especially when it’s also mango season.”
“We’ve been the official text symbol of an irresistible, perfect butt, so I know I am worth so much more than this!” cried a peach in distress, mapping routes from the small town in Georgia to New York City.
The peaches have not been excluded from the woes of the pandemic either. “It was a lot easier when Queer Eye was here,” said a juicy yellow peach. “But now that television production has halted, there is no one working on improving the hopeless Georgian people.”
The burden on some peaches has been too much for too long — “Shhplop,” said one overripe peach as he fell to his demise, splattering on the dirt.