by Seth Woodhouse
LOS ANGELES, CA — 19-year old Tom Davis became an unpaid intern this fall at MaxMeme, a startup based entirely on stealing memes from other companies and reposting them. After starting, he soon began to notice that the office dog “Sparky,” who had the ability to reproduce taken away from him in 2017, received preferential treatment over him, a human male.
“Yeah I may still have my balls,” said Davis, “but he gets treats and belly-rubs all the time! No one has looked at me in the eyes since I started. I’m still not positive if they notice I’m even there on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”
Davis has tried a variety of methods for getting his superiors to notice him, from going on all fours and barking to just straight-up attacking guests when they arrive. He has yet to receive one “good boy” from any of his superiors so far.
“I’ve had some mixed results so far, but honestly, I’ll try anything to make a good impression and build my network so that hopefully, one day, I’ll be given real money for my labor,” said Davis as he strapped on a dog collar.
“What labor?” said Jeanine Thompson, Tom’s supervisor. “He just acts like a dog the whole time, even sneaking into the bathroom and staring up at us the whole time. We don’t know if we can fire unpaid interns, but we’re working on it.”
It was later reported that Sparky is being paid $17.50 an hour with doggy dental.