Tom Cruise Set to Just Fall to His Death in Next Mission Impossible

by Seth Woodhouse

Mission Impossible: Fallout became a critical and commercial success due to all of the extreme physical stunts that Tom Cruise actually did, including skydiving out of a plane and learning how to fly a helicopter. In the wake of the critical success, Paramount began to think of ways to cash in for the sequel. But until a few days ago, they were unable to make the stunts even more “extreme.”

“That’s when a miracle happened” said Paramount CEO Jim Giannapolous. “Tom Cruise ran through our door and pitched to us the big stunt for Mission Impossible 7. He’s going to fall from the Empire State Building with no harness or anything. And die.”

The scene will occur midway through the movie, when Cruise’s character Ethan Hunt needs to deliver a secret encoded chip to the bottom floor of the Empire State Building within 12 seconds, but is stuck on the top floor.

“I am really excited about the scene” said Cruise with a huge grin, his eyes never blinking. “I really want to make the set pieces look as realistic as possible and for the audience to feel a real sense of danger. And nothing provides more danger than the literal fact that my face will splatter on the pavement in real time for all audiences to see.”

The scene will be achieved by strapping a GoPro camera to Cruise’s chest as well as having a drone flying at the same speed as Cruise to see both close ups and wide shots of Cruise’s dead, mangled body.

“Yeah I don’t feel comfortable about any of this” said director Christopher McQuarrie, “but I’m locked in for three movies by contract. So all right. Get him up there.”

Cruise has been training for the stunt for the past month and is positive that Xenu will be able to revive him for at least the production of Cocktail 2: Never Go Back.