by Veronica Marks
PALO ALTO, CA – Despite several years of research, lab work, and brainstorming sessions, the effort led by scientists at Stanford University to find out why a straight dude would want to become a gynecologist has remained unsuccessful.
“We thought, there’s gotta be a reason why these heterosexual men would want to spend the rest of their lives examining vaginas that isn’t weird,” said head researcher Gerard Daniels. “But, nope. It’s always weird.”
The scientists clarified that a straight man being a gynecologist isn’t necessarily weird, until you think about the path that led him there.
“Because, like, first you have to go to college for four years,” explained researcher Leslie Peterson. “And then you go to medical school for two years. And then you pick your specialization, and you can pick anything. Radiology. Dermatology. Neurology. Anesthesia. Psychiatry. Seriously, I could go on for a while. But this straight man, who is attracted to women, chooses to spend a three to seven year residency, along with the rest of his life, examining naked women. And we’re supposed to believe he did that for reasons that aren’t strange?”
Research indicated that even when such a gynecologist said a normal reason, it still wasn’t enough.
“Oh, you grew up with six sisters? Go be a pediatrician,” said Peterson.
Despite their failure to find answers, the research team has not given up.
“Next, we’re gonna try to figure out why someone would wanna be a podiatrist,” said Daniels. “That’s the study of feet. I know, right? Feet.”