JERUSALEM – All of Christ’s disciples sat and watched in abject horror as Judas Iscariot made an epic blunder during dinner by wishing Jesus a “Happy Last Supper.” Judas now faces backlash from the disciples, who have accused him of both betrayal and totally ruining the nice meal they were having.
“I think I covered it pretty well,” said Judas. “I said, ‘Happy Last Supper,’ and Jesus said, ‘What?’ So then I said, ‘Happy supper! Happy regular ol’ supper.’ Phew! That was a close one.”
However, Judas did not cover it up as well as he believed. When Jesus guessed that one of the guests would soon betray him, the 11 other Apostles grew suspicious as Judas began sweating profusely, tossing back glasses of wine, and telling jokes as a distraction.
“The whole “Last Supper” thing was a little fishy, but I was willing to let it go,” said the Apostle Matthew. “But once Judas started juggling loaves of bread and shouting, ‘Woo, happy supper, good thing nobody is going to die this weekend!’ I started to think that maybe this guy is up to something.”
Judas admitted he regretts his actions, citing an anxiety disorder and a “low tolerance for the blood of Christ.”
Jesus himself had very little to say about the incident: “I’m not surprised to hear that Judas will betray me,” he said. “Especially because as we left he shouted, ‘Catch you later, Jesus, unless you coincidentally run into Pontius Pilate and get crucified, which I would have nothing to do with whatsoever!’”
At press time Judas was found mumbling, “Last Supper…stupid, stupid, stupid!” to himself while counting out 30 pieces of silver.