by Matt Hanisch
LOS ANGELES, CA — Self-proclaimed progressive Louis Adams-Smith took a bold step last week when he decided to give Eleanor Winters, the girl of his dreams, the chance to ask him out. Tired of the constraints of typical gender roles, Adams-Smith did what he claims will revolutionize the dating game.
“Now that I’ve made this move, I can’t wait to see her reaction!” Adams-Smith exclaimed. “I’m sure she’ll be impressed that I’m defying such an old stereotype. Why can’t women ask men out, too?”
Admittedly, Winters has not reacted to the bold move so far, but that has not dampened Adams-Smith’s spirits.
“I’m not worried,” Adams-Smith affirmed. “I’m sure she’s building up the courage to ask me out. It ain’t easy asking someone out! Especially someone like me.”
After a month passed with no reaction, however, Adams-Smith realized he needed to change his strategy.
“Maybe I should voice my progressive opinions really loudly so she can hear them. Then she’ll understand what I’m trying to do for our relationship,” declared Adams-Smith.
When asked her opinion on the man’s progressive steps forward and her plans to participate in this cultural revolution, Winters responded, “Who?”