by Kim Rogers
HOUSTON, TX — Following Thanksgiving firsts, local grandmother Martha Fegel passed her famous green bean casserole dish back around the table, but when it came to grandson Paul Hill, he pushed it away.
“I slaved away in the kitchen for eight hours to make that casserole, and now that belligerent brat thinks he can just pass on seconds? No way. Not in this house,” muttered Fegel with tears in her eyes.
The ungrateful grandchild cited “room for dessert” as his excuse, but family members did not take the slight lightly.
“He broke Nana’s heart today. And, frankly, with her recent coronary artery bypass surgery, I’m not sure she can take it,” said Hill’s father, Michael Hill, through a spoonful of potatoes.
The Hill-Fegel Thanksgiving table hasn’t seen this kind of controversy since two hours ago when Grandpa Russ brought up “the latinos.”
“I thought Cousin Rudy ruined Thanksgiving already when he introduced his boyfriend to Uncle Don, but Paul wins again,” said Paul’s sister Katherine Hill, pouring herself another glass of wine.
After table-round beratement the thankless punk appeased the group by dumping a second helping onto his plate–one he’d eat, but wouldn’t like.