Podcast Listener Knows More Specific Bullshit Than You

by Kim Rogers & Chai Karve

SILVER LAKE, CA — A local friend group was enjoying a casual conversation about their favorite filmmakers when podcast connoisseur, Jeremi Carver, interjected with a collection of specific, rogue information that no one asked for or wanted.

“Once he started talking, he couldn’t stop,” noted innocent bystander Chase Michelson. “All I know is I felt talked down to.”

Carver seemed to grow a foot taller as he forced specific shit he knew more about into a conversation that nobody else was trying as hard in. When the friends tried to interject their own thoughts, Carver steered the talk towards even more niche, useless crap.

“He spends most days brooding in an overpriced desk chair listening to specific crap while massaging his temples,” said long-time acquaintance Kelly Thompson. “He comes out of his room exclusively to spew specific bullshit he just learned.”

After a solid 23 minutes, Carver finished his soliloquy, a word he defined on the fly, and exited the conversation only to pounce on another nearby group talking about crochet.