by Jessica Tang
USC — Walking into the kitchen of her apartment, local roommate Jenny Yang reportedly felt worried that her freshly typed refrigerator notes to her roommates weren’t passive aggressive enough.
Carefully taped onto the door of the refrigerator, the notes were typed in a neat Arial point 12 font in a list format, with select phrases vigilantly bolded, underlined, and capitalized.
“Good thing I remembered to capitalize. This gives instructions in just the right tone, so I’ll never have to say anything in real life,” Yang beamed.
In an effort to be considerate towards her roommates who were more visual learners, Yang also took the time to take photos of the apartment and print them out, carefully taping them underneath the printed guidelines. She was careful not to use names in the captions underneath her printed photos, instead thoughtfully assigning the responsibility to anyone who wasn’t her, using phrases like “someone” and “one of you.”
Yang had many concerns about her living situation, including whether clean plates were put away on time, and whether food that wasn’t hers was stored, eaten, or uneaten. With a sinking feeling, Yang stepped back and inspected her carefully crafted refrigerator notes.
“I need them to obey me, but I’m worried it’s just not indirect enough,” Yang mused. “This is already my second attempt to enforce my rules among my roommates. I don’t know why none of them have responded to my texts in the group chat that I created.”
Roommate Stella Shen later entered the room, noticing Yang squinting at her notes. Upon being asked if something was wrong, Yang’s doughy face widened in a big grin, shook her head vigorously, and scurried out of the kitchen.