USC — A series of misunderstandings between USC Annenberg employees and representatives from private construction firm Miss Heard Construction has ended plans to erect a new building intended to expand the resources of the School of Communication.
The university originally planned to take advantage of the fact that construction has been relatively quiet recently, limited to University Village, Kaufman School of Dance, McClintock Avenue, Marshall’s Fertitta Hall, the entirety of the Health Science Campus and a statue of Clay Helton commemorating his ability to “not be Steve Sarkisian.”
The first mishap occurred when the list of potential projects was sent to the construction company and the project manager mistakenly read the document as being signed by “ANNE N. BERG” rather than Annenberg being a new building proposal.
“Using all capital letters is one of the essentials of communication”, explained journalism professor Craig Thompson. “Every class begins with the students tracing dotted examples of capital letters to ensure seamless communication in their writing.”
Aldon Winschel, who sent the document to the company, followed this protocol, as he is an Annenberg alumnus.
Once the blunder was recognized, a multitude of messages were exchanged between both parties via carrier pigeon in order to rectify the situation. Unfortunately for Annenberg and the provider of the pigeons, “Smitten for Pigeon,” the misunderstandings continued due to lost messages and ambiguity in others.
After it was discovered that the EVK patio sidetracked many pigeons, the parties elected to communicate via email. In order to put an end to the confusion, an Annenberg representative messaged the company with the statement “To be clear, the School of Communication and the University of Southern California both sanction the construction of the new building.”
Unfortunately, the email was never received as the USC email system filters any email with the word “sanction” in it and sends them to cyberspace, courtesy of USC athletics.
A subsequent and final email was sent that read “that message you recevied before didn’t reflect our wants and we ask that you use the plan we spoke about rather than the plan we discussed after that plan.”
After missing the deadline to submit the project to Miss Heard Construction, Annenberg has settled for a joint degree program in interpretive dancing with the new Kaufman School, arguing, “it’s a form of communication, I guess.”