Student Hastily Spends Remaining Dining Dollars on Overpriced Junk at Seeds

by Jack Hackett

USC–On Sunday, Matt Jackson kicked open the doors to Seeds with a dumb grin on his face.

“I have $130 left on my card!” Jackson exclaimed. “The world is my oyster!”

He then cleared off a whole shelf of Pop Tarts and snagged anything else within arm’s reach to fill two baskets full of delectable treats. The total came out to over four hundred dollars, so Jackson put most of the junk back leaving him with only a half-empty bag containing a Diet Coke and some loose Reese’s Pieces.

“This is what a buck thirty gets me here?” questioned Jackson. “I should’ve gone somewhere else to get my money’s worth, like Panda, or even Verde for Christ’s sake!”

Jack Hackett

He is your run of the mill bad boy. He hangs out by the dumpsters during recess sucking down cigarettes. He is complex by nature, but is simply looking for love.