by Rob Smat
TROUSDALE PKWY.–“Save the whales!” someone shouts at me. “Save the Rainforests!” someone else yells. “Save our school janitors!” exclaims yet another.
No, I’m not covering a Project Greenpeace convention today. I’m covering USC’s Involvement Fair, and let me tell you, that name could not be more misleading. Because almost immediately upon arriving, I realized that no part of this event had anything to do with a “Fair.”
Fairs have so many wonderful things. Let me just list two or three for you: ferris wheels, hot dogs, lemonades, fried ice cream, fried lemonade, poorly built rollercoasters, pig races, go karts, poorly built pig races, tents… I could keep going.
The USC Involvement Fair has none of the above.
Why do we call it a Fair at all? There’s nothing honest about that misnomer. And let it be far from me to forget the five traits of being a Trojan: Honesty, Courage, Spirit, Money, Greek Life.
So I call for the Involvement Fair to be renamed to “Involvement People Behind Tables Day” to prevent me from suffering any more disappointment. Then maybe I’ll be prepared to save the janitors, but not while I’m expecting a fried Snickers bar from the person berating me to do the saving.