Wife of Local Optometrist Excited about Husband’s Sudden Fascination with Dresses

by Matt Abrahamson

An overexposed image of a dress has caused serious debate over what color it truly is.  Blue or White?  People from across the globe have been in various states of wonder, confusion and sometimes-even anger over the picture.

“If that dress is white, my whole life is a lie”, says student Greg Pikitis.

But others have a different outlook on the debate sweeping the Internet.  Marilyn Brownstein, wife of local optometrist Dr. Luther Brownstein, believes that the picture has brought a new level of excitement to her marriage.

“I couldn’t believe that when my husband got home, the first thing he wanted to talk about was a dress he saw that day”, she recalls.  Her husband talked for hours about the nature of why others perceive the dress at different colors and how scientist and doctors like himself are attempting to solve the puzzle

When asked if it bothered her that her husband was still talking about his job, not about her interest in fashion Marilyn becomes dismissive. “I know that.  I don’t care about the context; it was more about the subject and the fact he was simply talking about it. It was the best conversation we’ve had since our last child left for college 14 years ago.”

This is a happy ending for the Brownstein’s.  They have reconnected a marriage that had gone stale in their later years and have even recently planned a trip to the Caribbean.  Unfortunately they see the dress as white, in opposition of my firm blue stance, which makes them psychopaths who see the world differently from me.