by Axel Hellman
You’ve GOT to see these pictures of Nikias-like round tubers.
Billion-dollar fundraiser, or common root vegetable?
By the third picture, I was shocked. By the tenth, I was inspired.
1. The Russet Burbank
They both have somewhere between 2-10 eyes.
2. The Swedish Fingerling
When you go to Nikias’ Thanksgiving dinner, this is what you’re served.
3. The Austrian Crescent
Starched collar, or starchy food?
4. The Red Desirée
Let’s go to a rager and get MASHED!!!
5. The Purple Pelisse
This is the potato that demolished the UV.
6. The Blue Peruvian
A blue-blooded potato to shake down our blue-blooded alumni.
7. The Yukon Gold
There’s a reason cardinal and gold are the same colors as ketchup and french fries.
8. The Red Lasoda
What color is President C. L. Max Nikias under his peel? Only one way to find out.