by Jori Barash
FORT COLLINS, CO– After adjusting to college a bit, Colorado State University freshman Stefan Sortland decided this morning to take a look at his LinkedIn profile.
“Hey, it’s a Saturday, there’s no upcoming midterms, and that sweet Spring internship is calling my name. Now is as good a time as any! #Success.” posted Sortland on Twitter.
“Oh, shoot,” said Sortland as he noticed a high school extracurricular still listed as ongoing.
He quickly replaced it with the more current ‘EMT Volunteer,’ and then wiped his brow in relief. “I wouldn’t want to give business recruiters an inaccurate assessment of my professional attributes!”
Impressed with his work so far, Sortland added a paragraph to his bio about his advocacy work for positive body image and police accountability.
Even after approving a few new connections and shifting the order of his endorsements, Sortland still felt like his online resume could give off a slightly better impression. So, he scrolled around his connections’ pages to find some alternate set-ups. After about twenty minutes, Sortland came across the profile of an upperclassman from his Ultimate Frisbee club. He was so impressed that he copied the format to his own page.
At press time, Sortland just couldn’t decide which of his head shots worked best.